Preparing for Your Transition

We often talk about students preparing to go to college, but who asks the same of parents and family members? But rest assured, your preparation for college—your student’s college experience—is important, too.

The Empty Nest

The first thing to think about is the loss of your student’s presence within the family. Parents magazine online addresses this as well. Consider this though: every step toward independence that your student has taken is a testament to your success as a parent. Look at their transition as a positive reflection on you, and use some of your available time and devote it to other children or other pursuits. Notice I said some of the time. You never stop being a parent, even when your children are older adults. But your role with them as younger adults changes when they go to college, and this is a wonderful time to take stock of yourselves and make new decisions about your future.

Embrace Your New Role

I’ve written throughout this site about becoming a consultant to your student. This new role requires adult/ adult communication and more effective listening to your student, so they can grow into their new adult role. For many students, becoming adults is accelerated by their going to college, whether that’s locally or far away. Enjoy being a part of this, and your role in making it happen. And while this part of your transition may be difficult, it’s worth it.

Find Your Tribe

Another tip that may help is finding other parents who are experiencing the challenge of college transition with their students. Parents Magazine has several suggestions about this, including a Facebook group sponsored by Grown and Flown, and other websites and blogs (including this one!) that can help. You may also be able to connect with other parents at orientation. Exchange numbers and contact them when you’re feeling down or to run ideas by them. You may find this works both to help you and them: a true win-win!

Last, be kind to yourself. Parents of college students are notorious for worrying about their students and taking on their student’s challenges as their own. Managing your reactions is key. You don’t have to and you shouldn’t solve all their problems for them. Their struggles are their own, and to be honest, experiencing temporary setbacks and hurdles is part of being an adult. Helping and guiding them through these hurdles is as satisfying as fixing the problems yourself. And your tribe—other parents—would agree.