As a former Dean of Enrollment Management, I see the admission essay as a chance to get to know a prospective student off the page. This includes what makes this student tick, and why would bringing them to campus help the university? Which begs the question: what do colleges want to see in an essay?
What’s Unique About You?
Admission officers want to know what’s unique about you. Most read essays for weeks along with academic records and recommendations, and want something to make them sit up and take notice. Scribbr says that students show something they did or created, with specific examples. They also suggest showing, not telling. For example, a student who started a tutoring program because some of their friends were struggling with a subject, should highlight that in their admissions essay.
Another approach is to show initiative in the essay, through something the student did that made a difference. Perhaps that difference is creating a unique club, or advocating for a group in their community that needed a new voice. By showing initiative, students demonstrate ways they’ve grown and plan to grow more into the future. Writing about an event that demonstrates curiosity and the determination to learn more also plays well with admissions counselors.
Another suggestion—a favorite of mine—is for students to show how they faced a challenge and prevailed or recovered after a disappointment. They don’t need to get too maudlin about this, but it’s always good to show that they can bounce back from disappointments. Students who understand temporary failure, but find ways to push back and succeed are always attractive to colleges. We want more students like that.
Nuts and Bolts
Besides the question of what do colleges want to see in an essay, students also worry about wording and presentation. The essay should be their best work, one worthy of an “A” in class. But students should keep in mind they’re not writing a simple expository essay: they’re writing about themselves in a way that distinguishes them. And when you think about tone, College Essay Guy cautions students against using what he calls “big words” and I refer to as five-dollar or five-syllable words. Students are writing as aspiring college students, not as Ph.D. candidates. On the other hand, their essay should certainly be grammatical, as well as pleasant to read. Students should strive for conversational and grammatical at the same time, along with simple-to-understand ideas.
No Nos
We’ve already asked what do colleges want to see in an essay, but what about the flip side? What is that colleges don’t want to see in an essay? For one thing, students shouldn’t rehash information that’s already in their application. But there are other suggestions on what not to place in a college essay. Most sites say that students should avoid controversial subjects, such as reproductive health. Fastweb mentioned specifics to avoid, such as controversial subjects, coming off as too confident, as too much of a savior, or sports activities. The “savior” one is when students participated in a program like an overseas service trip, and focus more on how privileged they realized they were rather than on some unique learning experience they had. Admissions officers see essays like this all the time, so they tend not to work very well.
Don’t misunderstand: service trips aren’t bad or unwholesome things. The point is they often make students appear too privileged. It’s great that they were able to travel around the world with their family and appreciated it. However, an essay that inadvertently highlights a student’s current privilege may not demonstrate their empathy and what they would bring to the campus.
Final Words
At the same time, students needn’t be embarrassed or shy to talk about what they’ve accomplished. They’re still looking for a way to level the admissions playing field through their essay. Student should simply be aware of what some of those privileges say about them and to demonstrate their own self-awareness. All in all, they should be clear, honest, and show something we can’t see in their academic or activity records. They should focus on telling us why having them on the campus will build our student body and strengthen our college. They should tell us how our college can help them grow into the person they want to be. Finally, suggest that they smile while they’re writing their essay. Trust, me, we’ll see that smile shining through when we read them.
And a smile always plays well with us.