There are times, such as Spring 2020, when traditional commencement ceremonies won’t be held at thousands of colleges and universities around the world. That’s a loss and a disappointment to many. But I’d like to suggest that as family members, you find a way to give your student a graduation in 2020.
The Importance of Ritual
As humans, we experience plenty of transitions in life, marked by specific rituals. From the beginning of life, we hold baby showers and first birthday parties more to celebrate the parents than the infant. We hold ceremonies in Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, for the National Honor Society, and when they lose a tooth. Rituals are held when a student passes their driving test, turns 21, and when they get their first job. Far from being meaningless, these rituals signify important stages and accomplishments in our lives. And just as we always find some way of recognizing people on their birthdays, we should find ways to give our students a graduation ceremony as well.
High School and College Commencement
High school and college graduation ceremonies are two of the most celebrated and recognized rituals in families. For one thing it may be the only time grandparents travel away from home, which alone gives the event meaning. This article by Marie Hartwell-Walker demonstrates why attending a college commencement ceremony has meaning. Hartwell-Walker talks about loving “every interminable minute” of commencement ceremonies, referring to the one by one march to the stage to walk across and be acknowledged for mere seconds before the next person’s name is announced. I love it, too.
Graduation is a high for students and their families, but also for the faculty and staff who work with the students. It’s what we work for all year.
Think about the achievements of your student. They’re met the challenges of learning how to learn at a higher level than ever, and achieved something that a generation or two before, far fewer students achieved. For college students, they’ve written papers for college faculty, conducted research and made presentations to faculty, trustees and potential employers. In short, they’ve worked hard and achieved something worthy of recognition.
What do we do then, when the traditional graduation ceremony can’t be convened? The temptation is to just chuck it, but I would argue against that.
2020 Alternatives
Some schools are producing videos featuring short films and bios of graduating students. Others will feature videos of speakers, then slide shows which identify all the graduates. Still others are postponing formal ceremonies until the Fall.
As colleges are finding alternatives, why don’t you do the same? You certainly have pictures of your student from their first day of school to the end. For college students, think about making a scrapbook including pictures taken at new student orientation, and pictures from every significant stage of college. You can highlight summer vacations, their first thanksgiving at home, and the end of that tough freshman year. Some are suggesting that a video chat with family and friends is perhaps the easiest way to engage extended family recognizing your graduate.
Let’s say you’re not able to hold a celebration dinner at a local restaurant. I’d suggest you assemble the entire nuclear family around the table for a dress up dinner to celebrate the graduate’s achievements. Yes, buy them the same presents they would normally be receiving, and place a big banner in your yard, announcing: “2020 Talley University Graduate.” My secret? That’s what we plan to do this year for our daughter, our 2020 college graduate. And if you can’t find a banner service online, make one yourself; it’s a great project for siblings.
When you give your student a graduation in 2020, you’re giving them a formal high five to them saying: you’ve done it and we’re proud of you. They will sincerely appreciate it.