It’s time. Your student has received offers of admission from at least one, or perhaps many colleges and all could become their college of choice. And yes, we know how difficult this time can be with the cheers and happiness that accompanies having a choice. So what’s a rising first-year university student to do?
They Are Not The First
Knowing they’re not the first with this dilemma may not comfort your student if they have no way to figure out what to do. And remember this decision is not being made in isolation: your student is comparing their choices to the choices of their friends, and that can make the process harder. Fast Web warns against this in their post on choosing a college: your student shouldn’t be following a girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, etc. That doesn’t mean they can’t attend the same college: but your student’s decision shouldn’t depend on someone else’s choice.
Pros and Cons
One way to help your student is to encourage them to list the pros and cons about each of the schools they favor. Things like student body size, “feel,” perceived prestige of the school or their academic program, student activities—all these items are fair game for evaluation. Make sure your student evaluates all the things they’re concerned about, then give each school a ranking on that criterion. Encourage your student to be honest and critical during this process. If they believe University Y doesn’t have the pleasant appearance they want, they should rate it low, and not worry about hurting the Admissions Officer’s or Tour Guide’s feelings. As family members, we can listen to what our students say and make sure they’re not missing important criteria to think about or aren’t being honest with themselves.
The Benjamins
As a family, be clear about financial priorities and realities. If School A offers a more generous financial aid package than School B, but it requires your student to maintain a 3.0 GPA, don’t forget the GPA requirement when comparing schools. Evaluate critically if the school aid package looks good, but the loan burden to your student after graduation is too high for comfort. Sure, there are such prestigious that your student may take the risk of having large student load debt after graduation, but make sure everyone in the family is comfortable with this. As parents, we are often the best guides for our student, and it’s during the college selection process when we should be honest with them about our financial realities.
After College Connections
Students entering college are seeing the biggest pricetags they’ve ever seen. They worry what will happen after college, specifically if they will get jobs or into graduate school. Fair enough. And those are the questions you ought to ask, for example: what percentage of students are employed in their field of choice after graduation? What activities in the career center are geared toward first-year students? Or, what percentage of students take part in internships? College and universities track this information regularly, and they should be able to answer the questions easily. If they can’t, or the information changes from person to person, note that. Your students can also search the internet to find this information, including the websites of the colleges themselves. This is a great time to help your student become a better consumer.
Road Trip
If possible, take another road trip if your student can’t decide what to do. A campus visit is different once you’re admitted, so instead of thinking “Can I get in?” your student is thinking “Do I want to go here?” That means it’s a buyer’s market. Ask the hard questions of the people you speak with, including faculty in your student’s chosen major and of students walking around campus. And even if you’ve asked these questions during the Admissions process, your student may find that the answers sound different now. This is normal. This is also why it’s so important to give yourself one more shot to see the schools again, if you can.
As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, It’s All About The Fit, choosing a college has to be about the “feel of the campus” to the student, something no one else can know. It’s essential that you allow your student to take the lead in determining this.
Your Student as the Driver
This is another way of saying that the choice of college is a family decision though your student should be in the driver’s seat. This means there may be tension between you and your student. You may have serious concerns about one college or another, and your student may be in the opposite camp. Open and clear communication with your student is really important here. And it’s essential that this be “adult—adult” communications, not “parent—child” ones. A parent to child communication is “You have to wear that sweater today because it’s cold.” An adult-adult conversation is “It looks like it’s only forty degrees today. Do you think your light jacket will be enough?”
Choosing a college may require compromise by both students and parents. Be open to compromise but also clear about what you can accept. With luck, you’ll all be happy with the student’s choice, and you’ll rush to the campus bookstore to buy your “University Dad” or “University Mom” sweatshirt at the end of orientation.
Good luck!